Final Blog

After reviewing my unit 3 assessment I am still rating myself the same. This does not mean I have not grown. I known I have grown but I will need to utilize what I have learn more before I will be able to change these ratings. I do feel that I have made progress but I would like to see more progress by continuing to reach my goals. To me this is a slow process and if I rush it I think that I will feel overwhelmed. I do not feel that I have implemented these practices as much as I should have, but any thing I do is a start and is better than nothing. The practices that I have done have given me a greater sense of well being. This class has been very eye opening to me and rewarding. It is rewarding to reevaluate myself and see the areas that I have been lacking in. I do not think I would have ever done this without this class. The only difficulty I had with this class is using visualization. This is something that I will continue to work on. This class has not only helped my personally but also at work. I was starting to loss compassion for my patients and through this class I have found it again. It will also help me understand that there are many factors that are in play with their illness or disease. This has been a great class that I would recommend for everyone.

Exercise review

We have done quite a few exercises in this class and the one I tend to go back to is the subtle mind. I find it easy to do and can do it just about anytime. Even if it is just a few minutes of calming my chattering mind. I also like the loving kindness, although the mediation I found hard I am able to remember why this is important in my life. There are always going to be someone or sometime when you are not giving this. Just a quick breath and change of mind set seems to work for me. The exercise we did this week on visualisation of wholeness, happiness, and health is really going to take some more practice for me. I think if I could do subtle mind before this I would have better results. If my mind was calm I would hopefully be able to visualize better. I have a hard time focusing. So for know I am going to focus on subtle mind and loving kindness. I will be able to incorporate these into my life by taking the time to practice. When I am feeling overwhelmed and my mind begins to go a thousand miles a minute, I will recognize this and take the time to practice this technique. I will be able to use the loving kindness exercise when I am finding myself not finding compassion when dealing with others, whether at work, home, family member, and friends. Even if I am having a bad day I can change my mood by practicing loving kindness.

Meeting Asciepius

While preforming the "Meeting Asciepius" exercies I tried to pictre my mother who has passed away. It was kind of strange because my mind kept switching to all kinds of different images of her. After awhile it focused on a younger her. A image of her that I only remember from pictures, she was in her twenties. When I had to picture the while light I lost my vision of her and only could visualize a while light coming from nowhere. I tried refocusing on her but was not able to. My vision moved to an older gentleman with long gray hair. I have no idea where this image came from. This is an exercise that I will have to continue to work on. I have seen some improvement in my psychological wellness after using some of the practices we have learned. I feel I have felt less stress and a calmer sense. I am going to continue with my practices and continue to develop.

I like the saying "one cannot lead another where one has not gone himself". To me this means you cannot help some with something until you have experienced it yourself. You cannot help someone develop psychological, physically, and spiritual health unless you have done it yourself. Another way to look at it as would you trust a physical trainer who is obese and out of shape? I think I would have a hard time trusting what they were trying to teach me.

Integral Assessment

In practicing universal loving kindness I found that 10 minutes is a very long time to repeat a phrase. I was not able to complete the full time. While doing this exercise I became bored and was not feeling anything, so I stopped. This may have something to do with that I was tired at that time. In my integral assessment I have decided to focus on psycho spiritual development. I have chosen this area because I need to develop the cognitive level. Even before taking this class I have had an overwhelming need to find purpose, meaning, and fulfillment of life. I feel that I have been so busy listening to the useless chatter in my mind that I have not been able to still my mind and listen to what is important. Using the subtle mind exercise will help me quiet my mind and access into a deeper level. I think if I stopped and listen to my inner self I may find my purpose. I know one aspect of human purpose is helping one another. I try to give and help others as much as I can but what I have discovered is that I have not given the loving kindness to myself. I think practicing this from the start of the exercise will help me with this development. It almost seems like I was practicing loving kindness but skipped the first part of it. My hope is by focusing in this area of development I will be able to develop my sense of self and progress into other areas of development.

Subtle Mind

My mind is a busy mess most of the time. Thoughts about what I have to get done, what I have done, did I get it all done, was it right .... And of course there are the random thoughts, such as do I smell toast or some other strange thought. So with all that going on in my mind I thought that it would be just about impossible to create a still mind. I have just finish my subtle mind exercise and to my great surprise found a still mind. Of course this would come and go, so I would concentrate on my breathing again. At times I felt like my body was wondering what to do, almost anticipating some thought to react to. The exercise was must better for me than the loving kindness exercise. With loving kindness I felt like I must think, who am I imaging or who is suffering. This exercise I could just relax and concentrate on my breathing. I did find that I was done before the recording was done. Afterwards I felt a sense of calm but yet I was energized. Having a spiritual wellness I am able to have physical and mental wellness. These all work together to create a sense of calm, peace and wellness. I have seen this beginning to emerge during the weeks of this class and it is a great feeling.

Loving Kindness

I have just completed the loving kindness exercise and had a really hard time with it. My mind continually wonder during those very long pauses. I actually found myself forgetting that I was even doing this exercise. There is a lot of visualization in this exercise and I have a very hard time with that. I think I would only recommend this exercise to someone with experience doing these types of exercises and has good visualization techniques.

Maybe after continuing to do this exercise it would become easier. By doing this I would using the concept of mental workout or daily exercise for the mind. As the research in our reading this week showed that by doing this exercise (workouts) everyday my mind would begin to naturally think this way. This change in thinking to loving kindness would help me psychologically by having positive and caring thoughts.

Reflections

How many of us really have stopped to reflect and rate our well-being?  I never have done this, but it really makes you stop and take inventory.  On a scale of 1-10, I would have to rate my physical well-being as 7, spiritual well-being 6, psychological well-being as 7.  I believe there is always room for improvement and the best way to do this is by setting goals and finding things I can do to get to these goals.  My goal for physical well-being is to be at a 9.  I can do this my getting outside more for walks and begin running again.  I like to run in the spring even if it is a small distance.  My goal for spiritual well-being is 8.  To get there I am going to begin using relaxation and meditation techniques.  My goal for psychological is 9.  This I feel I can improve my being more vocal about my feelings and needs, with whom ever is causing me to feel unsure of myself.

I have just completed the "crime of the century" exercise.  As with previous exercises I became very relaxed.  I had a hard time keeping the colors in my head.  I was amazed that the color violet was very easy for me and very strong, I really have no idea why.  I was also able to visualize the bright white.  I think this came easier because this is something I sometimes do while laying be bed before going to sleep.  I know I need a lot of practice with visualization and hope to get there someday.

I have one question, why was it called "crime of the century"?